I would like to thank my sis for saying something I have been keeping for such a long time and troubling me so much yet have no courage to say.

Thank you for thinking for me.

For once in such a long long time I finally felt like someone SOMEHOW understands the situation I am in. Even if it is just a little bit.

Though it is such a simple action / sentence. I am truly thankful.

I was really depressed about this particular part of my life which probably was the main reason for my really bad depression back then.

And then I started to try and change my mindset even trying not to think a single thing about for quite awhile and yes I felt so much better.

Then today only because of such a thing. Something that I couldnt even admit it is entirely my fault and have even brought myself down.

Everything starts rush back into me.

Just when I thought it really is okay, nothing matters as long as I enjoy and appreciate the happy and lucky things that is bestowed upon me. The current state. Everything can just be left to the future.

Apparently this is not the case.

It feels like the distance between me and the people that matter the most to me are getting further and further. My worst fear.

If I am not allowed to even release that little bit, I probably am killing myself slowly.

I really dun see any purpose of continuing my life.

I envy people who have got something of their own they are good at. Something of their own they can be proud of. Their talent. Their interest. The passion. Their Future.

I have none.

Because of this depression, I wasnt able to continue the things I planned to do today.

I feel so detached. From the society. From Everything.

A good night sleep would be the solution for now.