20 December 2009

GM is not feeling well from the day before. Diahorrea, vomiting, unable to eat, irregular heart beat.

~10am: GM is admitted to the hospital and placed in ICU

The doctor told father that the chances of her recovering is 10%

And the chances of her getting out is only 1%

Her ECG is not looking well

If her heart is to stop beating, they will not attempt to do any rescues as it will break her bones which will not do any good either

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~1pm: Went to visit grandma. Tubes at her neck nose and hands. Called and held her hands. After a while, her eyelids starts to move and her mouth was moving a little. A few moments later, she opened her eyes and attempts to speak and breathe.

It made me thought. Okay maybe her condition isnt all that bad. Maybe there is a chance she will recover. We remained hopeful.

Yet my nose is sour and tears wun stop streaming down. This might just be one last time I will see her. She looks like she is suffering.

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Any phone calls makes our heart sink for the moment.

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Relatives went to visit her at night. They said the last 30 mins before they left, though weak, GM was attempting to unbutton her clothes and holding to the rails beside saying that she wants to get home.

I was really relieved when I heard that. Coz I just thought Grandma will be fine! She will get home soon!

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Around 1am the phone rang.

I picked up the phone, it was a phone call from the hospital, transfer it to father. They told us to go down. GM may not make it.

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I wanted to go, changed my clothes and took the things I need. Yet I did not go in the end. Father told me not to as I am still having my headache. And I thought I might not be able to handle it well.

Unfortunately this is one important decision I regret making.

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GM passed away at 1:25am.

I was told that they din manage to make it in time. But she passed away very peacefully looking like she is asleep.

Though I was only told in the morning, I couldnt sleep at all the previous night.

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GM though I never told you this but I want you to know that I love you alot.